{being a pretty.lady in waiting} aka the krebs cycle of sin

Whitney and I were chilling (working) together a few weeks ago and she mentioned an idea that I hadn't considered: The closer you get to understanding what God desires for you, the harder Satan tempts you to choose the second-best.
The more I've crock-potted that idea, the more it makes sense. The temptation itself is nothing new - control over "my" life. But the cost of grabbing at the second-best now instead of waiting with quiet trust and patience for God to bring me the best, that's too high. It means I settle. I stop following. I stop being a disciple.
I am finding this to be especially true in relationships. Over the past year - no, over the past three years - God has been revealing to me small things about the man I will eventually marry. With each new quality added, I think "impossible"... until someone comes along who lives up to that new standard. This is usually the point where I, like most girls, get tripped up and start focusing on my lack of a relationship instead of Him. The cycle looks something like this: I meet a guy I like, I ask God if this is the guy, God reveals another characteristic that "disqualifies" said guy, I whine and complain (the ever-so-trusting response of a child who can't have what she wants), God waits patiently until my focus is back on Him, and everything is fine until I meet the next temptatio- I mean, guy.
Thank God He doesn't abandon me! He graciously keeps me or has pulled me from wrong relationships (though not without my foolish temper tantrums). He loves me back to Himself time and time again. He gives me more patience. And call me crazy, call me childish, but I believe I am close to the guy God has for me. The next relationship I am in will lead to marriage. And I'd like to think I've already met my future husband, though of course I can't know that for sure. Not only is this based on my circumstances right now, but on the quality of guys in my life over the past year. They're great... the second-best. God keeps upping the bar on my expectations, and though my steps right now are tentative and shaky at best, I'm going to follow. God knows my desires, and what's best for me. He's never given me a reason to distrust His plan for my life, so why should I allow myself to start now? Lord, I believe.. help my unbelief.