{it's about time}

Almost exactly one year ago, I wrote this on my blog for Adventures In Missions:
"This past week our team was helping out at the orphanage on the island of Ometepe in the middle of Lake Nicaragua. The morning was filled with working (in the kitchen and garden, cleaning, and helping out at a nearby feeding program and medical clinic), and the afternoons/evenings felt a lot like vacation. There were several hammocks overlooking the lake and they were conveniently facing WEST so you know that means the most beautiful sunsets ever. Our whole team had an amazing time there. In case you did not know this, I have never been the biggest kid person... it is something that I asked God at the beginning of this trip to change in me and I am happy to say that He has! Friday afternoon I met a little girl named Angie who had the biggest smile I have ever seen on a 3 year old. We played 'hide and go seek' most of the afternoon while sharing a hammock, giggling the entire time. God is good."

While my post pulled out the side of things that was glorious at the time, I actually have very mixed memories about Ometepe. Yes, my team had a great time, and God did turn me into somewhat of a "kid person", and the sunsets were very beautiful... but there was a side to Ometepe that I remember absolutely hating. God was busy in my life during that week, forcing me to make some difficult decisions about the future and about my desire to serve Him. Though the week ended with a lot of peace, getting to that point was pretty frustrating and at times heartbreaking for me. There were lots of tears. There were lots of headaches. I think I even destroyed my journal pages from that time because it was so rough. But God grew me.
And now I can finally say that I am GOING BACK! Do you remember me saying something similar last year? About applying to lead the 9-month trip that would have left this past September? Well God removed that option from my life, and for a while I struggled with believing that I had "heard God right"; that God had ever wanted me to return and lead in the first place! But in the end He gave me the faith to choose to believe that He would not give me a desire to return as a leader and not fulfill that desire. He took away that one option and after a period of waiting He has replaced it with something better.
This summer, I will be back on the island of Ometepe, Nicaragua, helping to lead a team of teen girls for one month (June 16th-July 16th). In fact, I just purchased my flights to the AIM base in Georgia for leader training the second weekend in April. This is becoming more and more real. Maybe returning as a leader with AIM took 10 months longer than I expected originally... but I will be back in Nica. It's about time.