{an abundance of food and a lack of sleep}

One of the great things about living on your own is that you don't have to listen to anyone point out the errors in your dietary choices. You want to drink milk that may or may not still be good? Go right ahead (It's not THAT far past it's expiration date!) You want to eat ice cream for breakfast? Go right ahead. (As long as it's chocolate chip cookie dough.) You want to make your peanut butter sandwiches with chocolate pop-tarts instead of whole wheat bread? Go right ahead. (Though why anyone eats pop-tarts in the first place is beyond me...)
Of course, you do have to deal with your own conscience, which usually makes people run or do jumping jacks in an attempt to rid themselves of the sugar high. If you're especially unlucky, you also have to deal with the rebellion of your own stomach. While my stomach isn't hurting at the moment, I am regretting my "I'm-too-lazy-to-do-anything-but-reheat-leftover-potato-wedges" dinner. Oh, not that the food itself wasn't delicious! But, being partially distracted by an online conversation, music, and my own daydreams (I know, I know, I need to stop multitasking!), I ate the entire container of leftovers. That was supposed to last me a few meals. Did I really eat the equivalent of FOUR potatoes? In fact there is only one more piece left on the plate. It mocks me.
It is now much too late and dark to try to run off all those calories and starches - and I promised one of the older women at work I wouldn't run by myself at night, even with mace, keys, a whistle, a paring knife, and a cell phone. But that's okay. After all, I can almost hear her sweet voice in the background saying "It's okay honey. At least they were baked, not fried." *Sigh* So are cakes and cookies and brownies. (Mmm.. brownies..)
I am currently contemplating what to do with that last baked potato slice. I could:

• Eat It.
• Throw It Away.
• Save It For Tomorrow's Breakfast.
• Throw It At The Squirrel On My Windowsill.
• Or Something Else Of Which I Have Not Yet Thought.

What a difficult decision! Well in the meantime, I think I should start doing those jumping jacks.

{the post with lots of parentheses}

Let's be honest, there are dry & seemingly boring parts to all our lives. I go out of my way to avoid anything "boring" and I confess I can rarely go more than a month without some sort of change. If there is nothing new happening in my circumstances, I resort to creating the change myself. This can be a good thing as many positive habits have come from that.. for instance, I'll start learning a new skill (how I picked up guitar, crocheting, and running), change my surroundings (included minor gardening and rearranging my room when I was younger, now I just pack up and move altogether), or change myself (piercings, cut or dye my hair, etc.. quite often my default).
What drives this desire for constant change? Am I unsatisfied or discontent with life the way it is? Or is it just the personality trait of being flexible that's maybe a little out of control? I would not say that I am discontent, but then again it's easy to be blind to my own faults. :/ Perhaps just more than most, I get bored easily.
In other news, the work schedule for the last week of August has just been posted and I am currently scheduled 62 hours, with the potential for adding more. I am not the only one with that kind of schedule though, so it's nice to see who else will be going insane with me! Thankfully, I enjoy working with most of them.
Right after that comes another week of craziness (which I hope won't be quite as bad since work won't be open as late), and then comes VACATION! I know, most people take their vacations before labor day, but who wants to be normal? ;) September 5th-8th, I will be headed down to Virginia with my family to visit MORE family, and so for a few days it'll just be a jolly good time to relax and ignore the outside world. I can't wait!
(Except I kind of have to.)

{THIS is next, so stop asking}

Dearest readers, due to how many questions I am still getting on the subject, I think it's time I spelled this out clearly.

I am not: going to college again (I graduated, remember?), planning any more missions work overseas, headed back to Nicaragua anytime soon, in a relationship which will end in marriage and babies within the next year, or attempting to find a full-time job with benefits and a 401k option.
In my last post I talked about the unique advantage I have being young but out of school and with what I consider more life experience than your average 21-year-old. It sounds ideal, right? However, I am also realizing one of the negatives about coming back to the life I had before I left the States last September - having to deal with the expectations of people who assumed that my time in Nicaragua would be a launching pad for a future life in overseas missions. When I explain that for right now (and yes, potentially for the rest of my life) I believe God wants me here, I get "the look". That disapproving look that says "oh, you couldn't possibly have heard God correctly then, because there's no adventure here. You can't be serving Him with all your heart HERE." I already have to battle those thoughts popping into my mind, but it's worse to hear it from others. In fact, I've had that said to me more than once, though not in those exact words... and as much as I'd like to let it roll off me (because I honestly believe they are well-meaning), that hurts.
Isn't it enough that I went? Isn't it enough that I learned? And isn't it enough that I'm doing my best to live it out now?
There's nothing I can point to on the horizon and say "that's next." My life right now, THIS is next. Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes... (props if you got the music reference)

{Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I still trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. ~ Galatians 1:10}