{and the moral is...}

I am stubborn. You should know this by now. I am also creative. You should know this by now. So when I decide I want to do something, I'll usually find a slightly different and less-boring-than-normal way to accomplish it... and if that doesn't work, I'll just keep doing it over and over again until it does work.
Enter the cost of a gym membership. I would LOVE to enjoy the gym again, I really would, but as far as affording it goes, well the money's just not quite there yet. Instead, I am scrounging free exercise equipment from local people who are cleaning out their basements and have taken up running. I hate running... but I like not spending money even more! Out came the running shoes, from a bag of clothes I've been meaning to take to Goodwill for about two years now (yes Beans, I mean the bag you gave me before you left for school... umm... thanks for the shoes?), and of course out came the iPod.
I get bored pretty easily and I doubt I could run or exercise for any long period of time without music. Plus, I thought, I could make a new playlist according to the length of time I want to run or walk, so at each song change I can change my pace. Sounds simple, right? And it should have been.... I sorted all my music by play length, pulled out about 20 songs that were either 2 or 5 minutes long (for running and walking, respectively [hey I'm just starting]) and put them in a playlist, put it onto my iPod, and headed out the door.
One problem. I forgot that my iPod was on shuffle. And, seeing as how it was dark outside, I didn't look at my iPod while I was running, at least until after I thought "wow, I must be REALLY out of shape because I can't even run for two minutes!". After I realized my mistake I felt rather silly but I guess it provides a good story, right? I don't know if I ran for 5 or walked for 2 or what. Well, there's always next time. Because I am stubborn, and I WILL do it again. Except hopefully I'll remember to take my iPod off shuffle.

{21}

Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday, now I'm legal; happy birthday to me!
Instead of ringing in my new freedom by staying out all night with large quantities of alcohol as the majority of my peers tend to do, I decided to figure out what on this earth was important to me, and choose my birthday activities accordingly. So what is important to me? Friends. Money. Not being lazy. And not having a party. All of those things combine to form... TA-DA! A beautiful 13-hour work day at Chocolate World!
I must be insane. Don't worry, I'll get to chill with friends outside of work on Friday night instead. And another bonus to working (besides my birthday being payday, of course) is that it's the employee cookout. Free food! So lest you feel sorry for me not having a "real" birthday party.. be comforted. Food + friends = party.

{i am by no means wise}

Long story short, I'm not going to Virginia. Maybe next year....
Long story long, over the past few weeks though I have been back and forth on what to do next. One day I'd think about leading the Real Life teams with AIM, the next day I'd think about costuming and where that could lead, the next day I'd think about packing up and moving to California to see what would happen there. I had finally had about a week in a row where I thought about nothing but costuming, so I started to move in that direction, making travel plans to be in Williamsburg, VA for the costume character audition at Busch Gardens. I was going to drive down, I had found a super-cheap but nice hotel to stay in, I even looked at the park from Google Earth to see if I could find the specific entrance I would need to use. (What? I AM a details person.) Everything seemed settled... but I didn't make the reservation for the hotel. I ended up having a conversation with my mom about stuff happening in the family, and it made me think about the reasons I had been excited to come home from Nicaragua in the first place. Not that I always love my family or want to be around them, but that in a sense they need me. I don't doubt that God could bring someone else, or multiple someone elses, to fill in the role that I would be leaving by moving, but I believe God wants to use me here, so why am I trying to abandon that? Why not submit and see exactly what He's going to do with me?
I stayed up for a while last night just listening to good music and hanging out with God, and He finally gave that confirmation I was searching for. I'm staying in PA. No, I don't know for how long. Yes, I realize that Chocolate World isn't exactly on the same professional scale of costuming as, say, Walt Disney World or Sesame Street LIVE, but it's what I've been given for the moment. And so here I am.
I'm not giving up on the costuming, though. After family, church, and work, I'm planning on spending my extra time this year at the gym and in dance classes, training so I'll be more prepared for next year's auditions. Or sooner than that if God happens to surprise me with some cool opportunity... who knows? I'll be keeping my eyes open. But everything's still getting covered in prayer.
So that's what's up. For the moment, my mission field is here in PA. I can spend some time with my family, hopefully have a chance to volunteer around the area, kick out more of my student loans, and maybe even start that retirement fund after all. :) And since I'm confident that I am where God wants me to be, I'm excited to see what happens around here. I don't believe it will be too boring if God's in it!
{and there's a possibility of sharing an apartment closer to work with a friend from church. maybe...}